Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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