it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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