omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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