Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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