escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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