why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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