Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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