You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
