the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
