im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
