i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize