On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
