did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
