My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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