Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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