Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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