just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize