I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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