I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
