I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
