I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
