I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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