Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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