wat bout pragnant strippers??
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
