You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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