alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
