i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
