I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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