I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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