Whod you bang
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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