i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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