Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
