Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
