Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
