I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
