I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
