You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
