just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
