Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
