chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
