I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
