I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
