I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
