he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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