why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
