It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
