I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize