I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
