Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The feeling are messing with the penis
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
