If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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