brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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