You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
