Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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