I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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