i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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