i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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