I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
