Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
