I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Let's get the cat blown out
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize