I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
