doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
