i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize