This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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