I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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