Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
