So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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